So my fiance, Grant, is probably going to end up heading back to Ohio tomorrow. It was originally Saturday night that he was going to head back, but since he doesn't have work, he thought tomorrow would be best, 'specially seeing as on New Years Eve there'll probably be drunks and cops flooding all the roads.
I suppose it will be safer... Though, it still saddens me.... Almost cried in the car today, riding back from work with him...
Just been thinking about it.... For 3 months I won't even be able to hug him again... It'll be alright though, I know. We've been separated before anyhow, and 3 months isn't gonna kill us.
In a way, I think God might be trying to show me something through this... I mean, it's really been reminding me of Jesus in some ways... Not that I'm exalting Grant as though he were as great as Jesus was.
But.... It's kinda like Jesus in that...
When Jesus died, all His disciples were so sorrowful... Like I'm going to be when Grant leaves.... But then, after 3 days, He rose again and returned to them. Similar to how Grant is going to return to me in 3 months.
Another way it reminds me of Jesus is how Jesus told His disciples that He was going away to prepare a place for Him, but He would return to take them to Himself.
Grant's also going away to prepare a place for us after we're married.... And similar to Jesus, the Bridegroom, Grant is going to return in order to marry me... It's like Jesus and the Church.
I really think God is trying to teach me something about Himself through this, and it's pretty amazing.... I really believe our love has been a beautiful thing...
And I'm SO glad God brought us together how He did. Everything has been so good and worked out perfectly according to His plans.
Jesus has really done marvelous things in our lives. I hope He continues to use us to be a light and a blessing to others.
I know that I'm going to miss Grant very much... And there are times when I'm going to cry for him, I'm sure....
And if we miss our earthly loves that much when they're gone, how much more should we yearn to see Christ, our Lord and Savior...?
The One who loved us more than His own life. The only perfect One, who would never do anything to hurt us, and in the end has promised to wipe away every tear from our eyes and bandage up all our wounds.
So merciful...so kind.... I can't tell you how many times I've cried to Him, and He has heard me.
I can feel His presence in my room... I speak aloud to Him, and He answers me and comforts me. No one has ever been there for me as much as He has, and I love Him more than anything in this world.
Sometimes I hate it when He corrects me, and I complain to Him about it.... Like, "I know, but..." But, I know I must always submit.... Sometimes it's a little bit difficult...
Especially where it concerns other people... But I must obey Jesus. Even if it means giving in to things I believe are unfair.
I know I'm going off on a rabbit trail here...
Haha.... Sorry. =)
Back to the subject. Grant's heading back up to Ohio tomorrow. I won't get to see him for 3 months. Though he is getting me a phone, so I'll be able to talk to him more easily with that.
Still, I'll be incredibly depressed when he leaves...especially the first few days.... I'll try to keep my head up, but I have a feeling there'll be a lot of tears flooding my pillow at night.
Yeah... I'll miss him something fierce, but all in all, I know it'll be alright. God's plans are ALWAYS perfect, and I have faith that things will all work out how He wills.
Anyways, He sees more than I do and knows whats best for us and others. Maybe Grant will be able to be a light up in Ohio. Something that can help to lead others out of the darkness and into Christ's saving arms. =)
And perhaps God isn't yet finished with me here. Maybe I have a part to play in Virginia still. Who knows...? God's will be done in it all though, and may He bring about the most good through every situation.
Even through the destruction men bring about through their sin, God has the power to use it all to bring about good. HE'S JUST TOO AWESOME!!! XD
Lol! =P
Well, I'm not even 100% sure where I'm going with this anymore, so I think I'm just gonna call it quits tonight. Love ya all!!!! And don't even think about denying it... >=[
I love Jesus. He loves everyone. So if you're a real human being, then I love you. So there.
~Quartney~
P.S. I love animals too, so... =P
No comments:
Post a Comment